


The Princess Slide

by Grundy



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Princess Bride (1987)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-04-18 04:09:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4691564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grundy/pseuds/Grundy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sorry, Humperdinck, but your princess has her own ideas on how her kidnapping should go...<br/>Written for TwistedShorts Fic A Day 2015.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Princess Slide

Buffy was ready to scream in frustration. Honestly, even for her, this is new and inconvenient. Sure, she’s heard of trolls shedding a powder – well, Willow had insisted it was a powder, but it sounded more like dandruff when she had explained it – that has magical properties, and the blood of some supernatural creatures has odd properties. But a demon whose sweat could send poor unsuspecting Slayers to another dimension? Not one she’s heard before. She’s going to have strong words for the researchers when she gets home.

 _If_ she gets home. So far she has exactly one friend in this dimension, and Buttercup isn’t really in a position to help her much, seeing as she’s a normal girl and Buffy’s current headache isn’t – he’s an arrogant, overly self-assured, and entirely too used to getting his own way royal.

Prince Humperdinck of Florin absolutely insists that she marry him. He’d originally had his eye on Buttercup, but then Buffy had come to her friend’s rescue and diverted the royal pain in the ass. That had backfired. Thus her current predicament. Stuck in a medieval castle, betrothed to an annoying prince, and unable to go in search of a wizard or witch who might be able to help her out.

Sure, being ‘Princess Buffy’ had its occasional perks, but on the whole, she’d much rather get home. And when she does, she’d like to know that Buttercup is safe from the royal creep. That’s really the main stumbling block here.

It’s not like escaping from the palace is beyond her, especially since they’re willing to let her go riding daily – she’s had plenty of time to scope out routes and ideal times. She’s been careful to always play the harmless girly girl, so her fiancée has no idea what she can really do. She could ride off right now if she really wanted to. But she has a nasty feeling that if she bugs out now, Buttercup is back on the hook, and between her dead true love and her own inherent niceness, Buttercup is not up to dealing with the sludgeball that is Humperdinck.

Honestly, what she really needed was a decent diversion. Something that will get her safely away from Florin without suspicion that she’d done it herself. If only…

Buffy’s train of thought was neatly interrupted by a funny little man wearing an outfit that has seen better days, accompanied by a giant and a swordsman.

“A word, my lady?”

She shrugged, which he evidently took as permission.

“We are but poor, lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby?”

This is the least believable story she’s ever heard, which given some of her early Slayage-covering excuses is saying something.

“Nope. Nothing around for miles,” she replied, trying to figure out their angle.

“Then there will be no one to hear you scream,” the man declared, with what he may just believe is menace.

When the giant reached for her, she had an idea that just might be brilliant – if she could just get word to Buttercup to get out of Dodge, too, that is. But there are three of them, so it should work…

Buffy dodged the giant easily, feeling almost sorry for him at the look of puzzled surprise on his face, and faced the unlikely looking leader.

“How about if I give you my word not to scream if you tell me what you were planning to do with me?”

He paused, thrown by her complete lack of alarm.

“Why would I want to do that?” he asked suspiciously. “And if you think you can somehow fight your way free, know that in addition to Fezzik-“ he indicated the giant, “I have one of the finest swordsmen in the land at my side.”

The dark haired man with the fancy sword nodded at her.

Buffy grinned. Better and better. A fighter and a giant. There was plenty she could work with here, especially if she could peel off the ‘leader’.

“I feel like we might be able to come to a mutually profitable arrangement, but your original plan, whatever it was, is probably going to have to be altered a bit.”

She knew she had two out of the three, but she could see the little man hesitate suspiciously.

“Aw, come on,” she wheedled. “If you’re so hard up that you’re kidnapping princesses, which I have to tell you is traditionally a high-risk line of work no matter what you’re told you’ll be paid, what have you got to lose?”


End file.
